Here's the update from my Marshall's trip...

I went back last weekend, and returned the items that didn't get used. Stood in long but fast moving line, didn't see Meth Mouth Lady. Yesterday was rewarded for my efforts by Citibank telling me my checking account may have been compromised, as TJ Maxx/Marshall's had some sort of security breach during one of the days I had a transaction. I went down to my local branch, it turns out nothing is wrong and I don't have to go through the rigamarole of ordering new checks, closing the account at this time, but I don't think I will be shopping there any time soon again, unless I'm paying cash, shopping for work, and they make me.

Just did 6 days of work at the lovely and wonderful Screen Novelties Studios. They mostly do stop motion animation, but subcontracting building puppets is not a bad way for them to pay the rent. Lisa and I put together some Muppet-y hand puppets for a pilot pitch of a kids' cooking show. Someday, somewhere there will be a cooking show show for kids. This one has Disney Dollars behind it, so you never know. We all talked about why this particular genre never makes it, and it isn't the quality or concept. Actual cooking requires some kind of heat and perhaps a sharp object, and the powers in charge just don't want to take the legal risk that it could all go horribly, horribly wrong. Really, I think an 8 year old can learn to make english muffin pizzas. I think until Mario or Emril or Rachel Ray finally attach themselves to a kid cooking show, it will never happen.

We still have no shower, but it's getting closer and closer. The tiles are now all up, and the Grout Guy comes today, and then the plumbing fixtures get put back on tomorrow. Alledgedly by Friday, we will have our bathroom back. For now, we are still showering next door at Helen's, and it's kinda like living in the dorms again. Everything else works- toliet, sinks, etc. but having everything that usually lives in the bathroom living in the kitchen and bedroom is starting to be a big drag.

Schmedly has registered his disapproval for the situation, which includes the constant parade of workmen, by peeing on the floor. But next to his box, as he is very polite. I really can't blame him, as I also feel like peeing on the floor at this point.

The fixin' up the house has begun. I finally finished putting up the shelves in the living room, and they look awesome. I did learn a little about IKEA. You'd think after buying IKEA stuff for 15 years, I would know everything, but it's always something new. When the directions say "5 screws are needed, not provided" but the weight bearing steel frame has 10 holes, just put 10 screws. The person who designed the frame knows WAY more about the item then the person who writes the directions, and translates it into 17 different languages.

I did find a great new (to me) product at Home Depot. We have all drywall walls and Ben asked me to sink an plastic anchor into the wall to hold any screws. I found these great "No Pre-Drilled Hole Needed" anchors. They look like big plastic Fisher Price Screws, and come packaged with the correctly sized metal screws. Just position and screw into the wall, then screw in the screw. Really easy, and I didn't have to keep switching from drill bit to screwdriver head on my drill.

All of this means that the Final Moving Box has been unpacked. Some of the photos are on the new shelves, some of the photos are piled on the table waiting to be placed on the walls, but The Box has been unpacked, and can no longer follow me around the house like a dog.

Desk, I'm looking at you next...

I like to read magazines. There are a couple I actually have subscriptions to, The New Yorker and Oprah, and participate in the lively trade from friends' recycling bins of many others. Mostly fashion and gossip rags, but I'm not turning down Harper's or Rolling Stone when I find it.

They all have fallen prey to the fold out page, and it drives me insane. I hate the fold out. I don't know if it's supposed to inspire a sub-conscience thrill, the sense memory of the naughty centerfold pictorial, but all it makes me think is "I don't have enough room to fold this stupid page out!" Usually I choose to read a magazine in a tight space. On a plane, curled up in bed, perhaps sitting in a waiting room somewhere, but never, ever at a table or desk where I could feel free to spread out. If I had that much room to spare, I'd be doing something else besides wasting time reading a magazine. I have just enough room to open the magazine, and that it. It's probably even pushing it for the larger fashion tomes.

At first, I'd always try and unfold it a bit, in case I was missing anything. Oprah and In Style tended to put splashy layout on those kinds of pages. Mostly it turned out to be an ad. Then it was always an ad. Now I don't even bother.

HEY, PUBLISHERS! ADVERTISERS! I'M NOT LOOKING AT THE ADS! As soon as I feel that slightly thicker, recessed edge, I just hook my nail under and flip, without even giving it a glance.

I don't mind the ads in magazines. I actually do look at them. But I don't want to be inconvenienced to do it. I don't want to play Giant Folding Pieces of Paper. I don't want Physically Clever. Save it for the pictorial or the actual product. It is almost as annoying as the 27 unattached subscription postcards. Yes, I'm looking at you, New Yorker! How hard is it to affix them somehow to the spine?

Are people bored at magazines now that so much of the labor is done on computer? I would have thought that would be more work, not less. Do they sit around trying to come up with clever designs to draw in the reader? I love the idea of that brainstorming session! How about more articles? How about focusing on clean and interesting layout? It's terribly charming that you took Pop Up Book 101 at art school, but do it on your own time, please. Generation Z doesn't even read magazines, so save the bells and whistles for some other medium. Go work on the website or in the cell phone content division. Ads on your cell phone are Wave of the Future (tm), and I'm sure they will love your cutesy paper art over there across the hall.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Duchess Robyn the Bewildered of Lesser Cheese Winston Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Patrick Geretty and I are still plugging away at the music video of "Rainy Days and Mondays" we want to make with the Countess and Stinky O'Sock. We recorded the music tracks in November, and are hoping to get all the sets and Stinky finished to shoot in mid February. Stinky is a 7 foot tall sock puppet. Patrick puppeteers him from the inside, like Big Bird. Stinky is getting an overhaul for the video including a new outside sock.

Patrick has been researching knitters to create the fabric we need on a knitting machine, and his search actually led him to a convent here in LA. He was beside himself with glee that Stinky might be "hand knit by nuns!" and was hoping that they would do the job.

The other day, he finally got Sister Raphael from the Monastery of Angels in Hollywood on the phone, and she was having no part of it. "No nun will ever knit your sock!" she decreed. Even after Patrick explained that all he wanted was long panels of white knit, all the same color, that we would sew together ourselves, an easy job to do on a knitting machine. She then began to grill him about yarn ply. She was the expert, and made sure he didn't forget it. Not the attitude he expected from a nun, and we are taking our business elsewhere.

Judy of Topaz Knitwear will be knitting Stinky O'Sock. And we are happy to give her our business.

"Not hand knit by any nuns!"

I had to do some shopping at my local Marshall's today for a little acting gig tomorrow (yea!) and my cashier had the worst case of Meth Mouth I have ever seen in person.

At a distance, she just looked like your average clothing store assistant manager in Los Angeles. She was very thin and petite, well dressed (for Marshall's) and had a very nice and expensive looking haircut. She was clearly one of the most efficient workers at the registers and looked like she was in charge. When I actually got up close, her appearance was astounding. The tops of her teeth at the gum line were completely rotted and black. I'm not sure how they were actually staying in her head. And her lips were covered with red sores. She was moving at a pretty frenetic pace, but with the "in the zone" really good worker kind of buzz, not the "complete drug addict" kind of buzz.

I'm not sure how a manager deals with a worker like that. Does Marshall's know or care this is the face of the company for the public? Perhaps she IS the manager. She really was doing a great job, and what else does one want at Marshall's, except for the line to move quickly and the checker to be pleasant, well spoken and fast. Perhaps her drug days are behind her, and the rotted teeth are her cross to bear until she can get them fixed. But what about the sores? How long do those things last after you kick the habit?

The clothes will get used tomorrow, and I will return whatever outfits they don't choose, so I expect to return to the store later in the week. I will be on the lookout for her and report back.

I'm not really thrilled with this new version of Blogger. In general, I like the new bells and whistles, and it's much easier to do stuff with it. But the two things I don't like are big.

First, it takes forever to upload. Or it uploads, but it tells you it couldn't at this time and to come back later. Then you check your blog (not through their link) and it's all there. Then why tell me it's not?

The Second annoying thing is I haven't been able to leave comments on other people's blogs without signing in all the time. I can't be bothered. Perhaps Blogger is trying to tell me something, but how do people know you are reading them regularly if you don't leave a comment every once in a while? Smaller blogs may only have a readership of 10 or 20 people. Hey Collin at Fizzle and Pop, I tried! In fact, that what inspired today's post.

And tell those kids to keep their ball off my lawn!

P.S. Hats got finished yesterday and went away. Yippee!

Steve and I hosted a Bologna Sandwich Taste Off yesterday, after the day's hat making. Inspired by watching many episodes of America's Top Chef back to back last week, and Steve's current obsession with baloney sandwiches, and New Year's Day party was born.

We assembled the traditional and more gourmet ingredients, and then kept making them up. As Helen pointed out, it was more of a "tasting," as we cut up the sandwiches into little bite size pieces, to prevent sandwich overload.

The overall winners? The Traditional (Wonder bread, Oscar Meyer bologna, French's yellow mustard, white American cheese from the deli and iceburg lettuce) was a crowd favorite, with Carla putting a layer of potato chips in it for extra crunch. But for Taste the big winner was a little more gourmet.

I buttered the outside of two slices of challah bread, laid them butter side down on the Foreman Grill. I then lightly fried up a few slices of the thin sliced deli counter bologna, laying it on one side of the grilling bread, then placing a slice of provolone cheese on top. The other piece of bread got a slathering of dijon mustard and a couple of tomato slices, then salt and pepper. I then stacked it all together and shut the lid down for a minute or two. Dee-lish!!!!!!

Other versions were inspired by a Sacko sub or had spicy olives and peppers layered within. At some point, Carla was even spreading jelly on a grilled one, a la a Monte Cristo. A good time was had by all, and no one suffered a sodium or nitrate overload.

Even though the bones of the building are around 80 years old, we essentially live in a new house, since the entire structure had been gutted and rebuilt by our friends Ben and Helen.

For some reason, a good half of the light bulbs around the house have called it quits in the past two months. I think it is because they were all put in at the same time when the renovations were finished. The crazy part is, not one is a "normal" bulb. I currently need to purchase: one halogen, one flood and two florescent tubes for the under the kitchen cabinets. We have already gone through one halogen, a couple of those tiny globes for the bathroom mirror fixture, and I replaced the floods in the closets with low energy florescent bulbs. and gave the floods back to Ben, because I didn't realize I might need them in the future.

There is an overhead in the bathroom that has never worked, but I bet it just needs a bulb!

I know that supposedly different bulbs have different life spans, but it is interesting to see which ones get used the most, and how it has just evened everything out over time. I do think the low wattage bulbs I put in the closet are great. I mostly did it because I felt the floods were emitting too much heat in the small space, and I have a lot of blankets and bedding up on the top shelf. The closet lights have become the default lights in the bedroom when you just need a little light to find something or get dressed early in the morning, and also seem to be the ones that get left on by mistake for hours. I don't particularly care for the quality of the light, though, and wouldn't use them anywhere where I care. It's not even as nice as regular florescent bulbs, and that is some ugly light.

Back to the regularly scheduled hat making.