Poor Schmedly the Cat.

It seems like if I'm home and sitting down, there must be a Schmedly in my ever shrinking lap. He has finally figured out a way to drape most of himself in front of my growing belly and then hang his head and front paws over my forearm. He can do this while I'm sitting on the couch, in a chair or using the computer. And if I'm doing any of those things, there he is.
What is this cat going to do in a few months when he is usurped? The baby is going to spend a lot of time on my lap, and there isn't going to be room for two.

As I was driving past the local dog park this morning, a man was crossing the street with his two dogs, and it struck me as one of those "people look their dogs" moments, right out of a kid's book.

He was a thirty-something hipster, with requisite Elvis Costello glasses, wearing a brightly colored, red, vertical striped dress shirt, with pants with a very large blue plaid. But then I noticed the dogs. A pair of longer haired retrievers of some sort, white with grey and black patches. But some of the patches were mottled and spotted, as if they had clashing patterns on, too!

And what day is it? It's been a busy couple of weeks. I just finished up making a couple of prototype stop motion animation puppets for a potential Xmas movie. They came out very cool, and I hope they get the Green Light for this one.

In addition, I've been hired by some department over at the WB to write new dialogue for old Wilma and Betty scenes from the Flintstones, repackaging them for a parenting website. I'm really pleased with what my comedy pal Sarah and I have come up with, and so are they. What's wacky is that I've never met the people I'm working for. Everything is done via email or conference calls. Sarah got the gig, so she must know one of these voices on the phone personally. I officially went in on my first "muffin basket for the agent" this week as there was an actual contract that had to be looked over and signed. If I work hard enough at my Betty, I might score the VO work as well, as they liked my giggle in the phone meeting.

(Somewhere a union writer and union VO artist are having a cow. Wait a minute, I'm in AFTRA. Oh yeah. It's for the internets.)

On top of that, the Cartoon Overlord show has begun! Sunday nights over at ACME, and besides performing, I'm coordinating the artists. We have a rotating cast, so I'm not in the show every single week, which is kind of a relief for once, as it is a ten week run. and I'm well into the seventh month of this pregnancy.

Speaking of...the serious heartburn has set in. The kind that feels like the back of my throat and tonsils are burning up with lava. It is no longer at bottom of my esophagus, but right up at the top, just waiting to burp up and out. Ewww! The cure is to not eat very much and nothing for a couple of hours before bedtime. As a result, I'm learning why the weight gaining tapers off the last trimester. I'm no longer eating for two, or an extra 300 calories a day or whatever. I'm now eating the post-gastric bypass surgery diet. 1/2 cup and I'm full, thanks!! I only gained one pound in the last two weeks.

I am having a hard time adjusting my body clock to DST. I had really settled into a routine, falling asleep just around 10:45 or 11pm and waking up at 6:30am. I was so into this schedule, that I would fall asleep midway through The Cobert Report and wake up without even setting an alarm, even with my having to get up and pee more than once a night.

My morning was an efficient Seizing of the Day. An entire hour of cleaning the house, running loads of laundry and enjoying a cup of tea while reading PerezHilton.com. I could guiltlessly put my feet up at night and watch TV, as my day was done and I had gotten plenty out of it.

This week? Up at 7:30am. Emails not sent, bills not paid, laundry not done, hair not washed. Getting out the door on time, but not liking it. Puttering around at 10:30pm because I AM NOT TIRED YET.

Why did they switch it back almost a month? To exploit the illegal migrant farm workers? To "save" the energy we are fighting so dearly for? BTW, how about Halliburton moving it's corporate headquarters to Dubai? Nice.

I do like it being light out when I leave work at night. I'm sure once my body clock adjusts, it will seem like Endless Summer. A margarita would help...

Speaking of eroding rights and Big Brother...

There was a very interesting story on NPR's All Things Considered last night about the return of the "Foundling Wheel" to hospitals in Italy recently. Dating back to 1200 AD, Foundling Wheels were a discreet way for a mother to drop her unwanted baby off at the local church. The pope had been very disturbed by the amount of baby bodies that were showing up in the fishermen's nets along the Tiber.

It seems that current day Italy has seen an upswing in dead babies found in dumpsters and trash cans, so local hospitals are installing these ATM style booths outside the maternity wing, and it is supposedly anonymous. My very first thought was, "of course that booth is filled with cameras! They will never let something like that be discreet and anonymous!!"

I just assume there are camera every where in public places now, don't you? Because there are. I bet most people under 40 don't even think about it or care too much in the abstract. When I really start to ponder it, it pisses me off, but I haven't really ever known a time when that didn't exist, and "most" of the time it is for "security" purposes. ATM machines, parking garages, etc. But what about the ones just on the street. And Who's manning the cameras?

A national ID card (in addition to your driver's license) may be on the way, and soon.

National ID Card News Story

It's a little too Big Brother for my tastes, but our civil rights and privacy has been eroded away so much in the past decade or so with the advent of technology and our fear of terrorism that a national ID card seems as quaint of violation of privacy as the bruhaha over Nixon trying to find out the Democrats secrets at the Watergate Hotel.

What ACTUALLY makes me crazy about it, is that Homeland Security believes that it will take you only 44 minutes to obtain your birth certificate, drive to the DMV and get the new document. What DMV branch does Homeland Security use?

Let's just say you DON'T have to obtain a new, certified copy of your certificate from your home state. You reach into a well labeled file in your organized home office and pull it out. (1 minute) Then get in the car and drive somewhere. In the best of circumstances, that takes 15 minutes, including parking the car. (16 minutes total so far)

You now enter the 4th Circle of Hell known as the DMV. For this scenario, there are no other customers there. You now have to wander around looking a signs hanging from the ceiling looking for the one with NATIONAL ID CARDS HERE hanging above the counter. (2 minutes for 18 minutes total) A knowledgeable person who speaks English greets you immediately and hands you a form, clip board and working pen. (1 minute, 19 total) You then stroll over to the chairs, sit and fill out the easy to understand form, using the information you brought from home (6 minutes, 25 total) then go back to the counter to have the worker process it. (3 minutes 28 total) They are completely comfortable with the new paperwork and computer system, and nothing goes wrong. They hand you back your papers and send you to get your photo taken. You now have to stroll all the way around to the other end of the gigantic DMV room to the photo taking area (2 minutes 30 total) where you approach another counter, with helpful staffer and no line (no other customers in this hypothetical situation) They take your papers, examine them, double check against the computer and ask you to stand in front of a camera and take your picture. (2 minutes 32 total) They ask you to sit, while the picture develops and they make your ID card. (10 minutes, 42 total) Your name then appears on the computer tote board hanging from the ceiling, you stroll over to the counter with helpful worker, they check your papers once more, then hand you your Brand New National ID Card, and you stroll on out to the parking lot. (2 minutes for a total of 44 minutes) It doesn't include the 15 minute drive home, but it can be done!

I don't know what fantasy world the Homeland Security people live in, but I have NEVER EVER been to a DMV that has been run like that. Not to unfairly pick on the DMV. If I was the only customer in the room, I'm sure it would go as quickly as described, but what about all the other customers waiting in line? Computer systems that don't work? Staffers who don't understand what they are doing? Any trouble with your paperwork? There is a reason why people like to renew by mail or try and get stuff done at the AAA office instead. I wonder if the DMV even knows that this whole thing is about to fall in their laps. Unless their budget is going to go up significantly, they can't be too overjoyed with the prospect.

I don't think it will be too hard for motivated people to forge whatever documents, magnetic strips and computer files they will need to establish fake identities. They might have a 4 to 6 month lag time, but they will do it. Unless we start using eyeball or finger scanners, and I bet they can even get around them, bad guys will get fake IDs. I guess we shouldn't give up, but perhaps it's time for us to by stock in whatever companies make all this equipment. Wanna bet it's a division of Haliburton?