Someone is asleep, giving me a few moments of stolen time...

I still have not gotten paid for the puppet job...but I have two other new projects on my plate. A couple of hats need new ribbon and horsehair (to pin them to the actor's head) for a stage musical my friend Marcy is designing, a bio about Ginger Rogers. Very la-la work for me.

Then last week I got a call that made me realize it must be January, asking for a walk around Vagina Costume. That's right. Some guy has the bright idea for a talking vagina. My neighbor Ben the prop master, suggested I google "vagina costume" on the internet as he needed one of these a few years ago for whatever MTV crap show he was working on at the time. You would not believe how much of this sort of thing I have made over the years. Big foam penises, scrotums, vaginas...no really, that is a hilarious idea that has never been done before.

There it was, for $53, a felt vagina costume. I tried to get the guy to just buy that one, but he wants a better quality job, and he is willing to pay for it. So using it as a model, he will get a polar fleece version, that can also be laundered, which I suggested might be necessary. Just sayin'. And it will look great, so I'm happy to provide what the client wants.

As a comedian, though, I question the logic of a GUY in a talking vagina suit. Personally, I think of my genitals as distinctly female. Sassy, but always female. The real joke would be to have WOMAN in the vagina suit, perhaps as sassy black chick or tough talking butch lesbian or Cougar-y Kim Catrall type. But I'm guessing whatever the end material of Guy in Vagina Costume is will not be aimed at women, but at the Howard Stern demographic. But then, wouldn't you put a hot chick in the suit? Maybe one with hot legs and we shorten the suit a bit and she wears fishnets and heels?

A whole series of different women in the vagina suit...taking The Vagina Monologues all the way to THERE.

Perhaps it's supposed to be a Man-gina, which a joke men tease each other with when they are acting like women about something. It always conjures up a sphincter image for me, but I'm not quite sure if it's always that literal. Anyway, could it have been a talking butthole instead? Which my sister has actually had to make recently, BTW for...(here's an AWESOME transition...) TIME SUCK! A internet series Steve wrote for Cartoon Network.

"Currently airing on SuperDeluxe (the internet arm of Cartoon Network)
Time Suck was created by four Emersonians: Alex Coen, Adam Peirce, Mike
D'Alonzo and Steve Johnson. Adam, Mike and Steve are "This Is Pathetic"
alum as well.

Join cubicle drones Patches and his canine cohort Benji, as they travel to the end of the Internets, one bizarre video at a time. Tightly written, awesomely produced and hilarious, Time Suck is a must view."

The butthole in question doesn't actually talk, but instead has a chicken coming out of it. Chicken Butt. And all of the videos are spoofs of dumb stuff on the internet, not the actual dumb stuff.

The series is very funny, and I hope that you check it out. And it give it a good rating if you like it.