People Are Awesome

Lost boy goes unclaimed for 8 days.

Soldier gets owned by internet nerds!

Ha ha! Fuck the army!

Even Jesus has some fucking standards.

I don’t even have to write anything, i’m just going to post a little set up and then I’ll let an excerpt from the article do the rest.

Emil Grandbouche, an Akron, Ohio school bus driver, was asked to take a sobriety test after telling some school children he was drinking “apple juice on the rocks.” The kids didn’t believe that it was apple juice so they got a cop who administered the test. Emil failed, stumbling when asked to walk a straight line. It was around this time he was scheduled to get in a bus and drive a bunch of kids home, but he was arrested instead.

Here’s what he had to tell the paper about his arrest:

“‘At first, I felt like I was targeted. I mean I thought the officer was playing a prank on me. I thought he was kidding,’ he said. ‘It was like racism in reverse. It’s a predominantly black school, and I never saw any other white person working there. I always tried to be friendly with everyone at the school, but it’s like I didn’t really belong there. No one was ever friendly.

I’m not a racist or bigot by any stretch of the imagination. I’m the last person who would discriminate against anybody. I happen to know what bigotry is all about,’ he said, ‘because I happen to be a gay man.’

To make matters worse, he asked police officers for his ‘man purse’ from the bus because a substitute driver was called.”

Usually when you have to say I’m not a racist, you’re a racist. And thank god for good timing as this story breaks right as Ohio is trying to pass an anti-gay marriage amendment. I’m sure the religious wrong will make Emil their little poster boy, because this story’s got everything–bigotry, alcoholism, drug use, gay sex and school children. Awesome.

Akron Beacon Journal: Bus driver blames self for arrest 

Sure, you can go to www.suspensionofdisbelief.net, but there’s nothing new there. Because the guy who writes the blog is too busy for you.

Morgellon’s is a made up disease where crazy people think unknown-to-science parasites are eating them apart from the inside out.

It’s fun to read about them.

Morgellon’s Yahoo! Group

Mt. Lebanon is a small, quiet suburb of Pittsburgh, PA. Apparently, there ain’t much to do there when you’re 18, except make an explicit list ranking the asstastical opportunities at your high school.

So that’s what the boys did.

You can read some stodgy newspaper article about the events here or you can click the read more tag to see the actual list. All it took was one copy to get out. . .thank you internet. Read the rest of this entry »

Bird Flu Spreads Human To Human

Plague Coming. Millions To Die.

Thank God.

Bloomberg

Little girl, what did I done told you about pouring water on the television? I told you a thousand times if I’ve told you once to NOT FUCKING POUR WATER ON THE TELEVISION. I’m fixing to slap the taste right outta yur mouth and while I’m at it, I think I’ll take a turn a-sexually-molestin’ you and then, when you think it’s ok to pass out from the pain dahrlin’ I’ll kick you in the head.

Then, perahps, I’ll take you to the zoo.

Stepdad beats the living hell out of stepdaughter, “mistakenly” rapes her while changing her diaper and then delivers her to the local Wal-Mart where mom works.

THIS MAN SHOULD BE DESTROYED.

Apparently nothing more rapeable either.

Some sick fucker from Tennessee rapes ONE DAY OLD daughter