Mt. Lebanon High School in Pennsylvania Totally Wins
Mt. Lebanon is a small, quiet suburb of Pittsburgh, PA. Apparently, there ain’t much to do there when you’re 18, except make an explicit list ranking the asstastical opportunities at your high school.
So that’s what the boys did.
You can read some stodgy newspaper article about the events here or you can click the read more tag to see the actual list. All it took was one copy to get out. . .thank you internet.
1. Alexa Challburg-723 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: A+
Ass Grade: A+
Face Grade: A+
Reason on Top 25: Alexa dominated the ballots in the 2006 and is likely to go back to back years in achieving first place. Her main competition next year will be younger sister Jen, who can make some noise as a freshman. Alexa easily took 1st place by a point gap 73 points. She was a rising star in freshman and sophomore and many guys said she had the potential to be one of the greatest. In junior year, she has finally reached her full potential and turned into one fine piece of delicious ass. Alexa is also the only girl the guys can openly debate whether her shit does, or does not stink.
2. Emily Evron-645 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: C
Ass Grade: A+
Face Grade: A+
Reason on Top 25: Despite her egocentric views, Emily’s beauty and her big round ass makes this quality easily forgettable. Now after 4 years of hard work, Emily has easily emerged to one of the most bangable, luscious girls in Mount Lebanon High School. Her true potential started blooming in sophomore year and has carried and even grew all the way to senior year. We all know we want to lather up that ass with some ketchup and dip our hot dog into it.
3. Ryan Puz-634 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: A+
Ass Grade: B+
Face Grade: A+
Reason on Top 25: Although fitting all stereotypes of a cheerleader, Ryan’s large wonderful breasts and gorgeous face propelled her into the number 3 position. Always thought of as a girl to watch, she blossomed into what everyone hoped she some day would. She does a great job in using the brain cells she has to cordially select her outfits to illustrate her many positive aspects of her body. All the boys in the senior class are just counting the days when her and Eddie break up so they can move in for the kill on her luscious, fresh, and splendid vagina.
4. Kristi Hendrickson-614 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: C
Ass Grade: A+
Face Grade: A
Reason on Top 25: Regardless of her piss-poor personality, Kristi’s infamous plump and round ass is appreciated by all heterosexual men. Disappointing many through the middle school years in which she showed a striking resemblance to her brother Ryan in all physical features, Kristi has emerged and developed into legitimate top 5 inductee in the 2006 voting. Although she is a strong “freshman 15” candidate, we expect her to overcome this and experience greatness in future years.
5. Meah Barson-565 points
Grade: Sophomore
Titty Grade: C-
Ass Grade: A
Face Grade: A+
Reason on Top 25: While she is only a sophomore, there is still room for much improvement in this potential hall of famer. If she keeps this pace up, in her senior year we can see a new record in overall point totals. Her potential was evident in her early middle school years, and the upper class heterosexual males salivated at the thought of her arrival. In the future, we expect nothing short of greatness.
6. Morgan Donohue-487 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: B-
Ass Grade: B+
Face Grade: A
Reason on Top 25: Even though recent events have dropped her weight below the century mark, Morgan has shocked the world and achieved the number 6 spot. While some wonder if she walks around with a silver spoon up her ass, those who don’t have placed her among some of Lebo’s finest. Morgan could make a potential run at the top 5 next year after seeing the results in her junior year.
7. Katie Hrebinko-414 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: D+
Ass Grade: A
Face Grade: B+
Reason on Top 25: Disregarding the fact Katie has been contaminated by fellow Mount Lebanon Alumni Andrew Sherman, her birth canal still seems to be fresh and on everyone’s mind. Katie showed her potential in the summer of sophomore year and the boners were rising among the males. Katie seemed to be a very consistent candidate among the ballots of the males, her consistency allowed her to achieve top 10 status. Do not expect Katie to drop in the rankings next year, for that there is only room for her to improve.
8. Katie Sullivan-374 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: B+
Ass Grade: B+
Face Grade: A-
Reason on Top 25: While there isn’t a drug Katie Sullivan will not try, it seems she still manages to keep her looks and figure. Although she lost some edge, Katie still remains one of the most appetizing girls in Mount Lebanon High School. Inside information claims she gives one hell of a blowjob and she is nasty in the sheets. Many worry about Katie’s future due to the fact there is not an inhalant or needle she did not enjoy but the males are pulling for her to keep up with her good looks.
9. Amy Wintner-366 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: A+
Ass Grade: B
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: Mt. McKinley is said to be the biggest mountain in the United States, while Mt. Everest is said to be the biggest mountain in the world. Although those two mountains have some respect across the world, they do not in Mount Lebanon High School. The only two mountains on the minds of the boys in this school are the two that rest on Amy Wintner’s chest. The twins of Amy give her a huge edge for next year, as well as the future.
10. Kristen Campbell-325 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: B+
Ass Grade: B-
Face Grade: B+
Reason on Top 25: While her favorite hook up spots are either at a golf course or in a hay maze, this did not bother the guys in voting her into the top 10. Some say it was her year round tan look, while others say that she has a nice set of lungs propped up on her chest, either way, Kristen serves as a decent candidate for the top 10. Discovered as a sleeping in freshman year, Kristen has obviously woken up and serves as some good eye candy during school.
11. Kenzie Rodriguez-317 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: A+
Ass Grade: A-
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: Although deep down she has the dirty Mexican spice in her blood, Kenzie seems to overcome the diversity of a beaner and still remain a scrumptious slab of mutton. She uses her razor wisely to get rid of unwanted Mexican hair and uses a perfume to keep the taco smell off of her. She was always a favorite of the senior class, but Kenzie dropped to the 11 spot due to the fact she is unknown. Kenzie still remains high on the list and it could be said she successfully crossed the border.
12. Jordan Barson-302 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: C-
Ass Grade: B-
Face Grade: B+
Reason on Top 25: Although some consider Jordan’s height a big turn off, some look at the bright side and say she is the perfect height to suck a dick. Even though falling behind younger sister Meah, Jordan’s number 12 ranking is a big success due to the fact she had periods of her career where the guys were not her number one fans. The future remains up in the air for Jordan, if she stays skinny, she will still be a nice girl to look at, if she puts on weight, well short and fat is not the best combination for a girl.
13. Marian Pearson-278 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: B
Ass Grade: C
Face Grade: A
Reason on Top 25: While some worry about Marian developing her own gravitational pull, Marian’s beautiful face and nicely sized cans put her into the number 13 spot. Despite the fact that many are alarmed at Marian coming in this high, she does have some positive qualities to offer if you look beyond the expansion of her belt buckle. Marian has one of the best faces many dudes have ever seen. Also, her titties seemed nicely formed and probably a B pushing on a C cup. If Marian can slim down a little and let those titties pop out the top of a turtleneck, we are talking about top 10 possibilities.
14. Maura Hoyson-271 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: D
Ass Grade: A+
Face Grade: B
Reason on the Top 25: When first glancing at Maura from the front, one sees a cute girl that one would obviously let smoke it but wouldn’t think about pursuing her as a bitch to bring home as a trophy. When you pass her, you turn around a see a big bubble of gloriousness that is just waiting for a big fat weiner to be slammed inside. Maura was a sleeper her freshman year and was brought into the poon tang game in her early sophomore year. If you throw a set of lungs on Maura, we could easily see this girl sneak into the top 5.
15. Sydney Carver-264 points
Grade: Sophomore
Titty Grade: D+
Ass Grade: A-
Face Grade: B+
Reason on Top 25: Despite having a smaller vocabulary then Jimmy Kist, Sydney Carver managed to use her retarded ness as a turn on and slither into the number 15 spot. Sydney is a big fan of baseball but has only seemed to have gone to third base twice before with two guys. Hopefully in the future, Sydney improves her swing and manages to knock around some nut sacs and maybe put one over the left field fence for a homerun.
16. Kaitlin Bailey-256 points
Grade: Sophomore
Titty Grade: C-
Ass Grade: B
Face Grade: B+
Reason on Top 25: It is said that Kaitlin Bailey has a mild case of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) after she took a steaming diarrhea shit in Brandon Dornish’s toilet that was able to be heard through two doors. Despite this unfortunate event, Kaitlin has shown much progress from looking like a character in the Adam’s Family freshman year, to a well-rounded blonde piece of booty that is capable of possibly cracking the top 10 next year. The boys in the class of 2007 are on their knees praying that Kaitlin can improve just as much as she did in the past few years for next yeaar. If she does, erections will be popping out of sweatpants.
17. Juli Teeple-225 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: C-
Ass Grade: Used to be an A+, now a C+
Face Grade: B-
Reason on Top 25: While many, many people question her eating habits, Juli somehow managed to slip her skeleton like body under the door into the number 17 position. Pussy experts are questioning whether or not the ballots were fixed and some people are demanding for a recount. But this is unnecessary since this girl’s life has ended since she didn’t get into her number one choice school Penn (That’s a tough one to swallow) and we feel taking her off would be too harsh. Juli used to be a top 15 candidate when she weighed over 25 pounds, but now we question her future due to the fact she is on pace to use a cheerio as a hoo-la-hoop in 2 years.
18. Meghan Goff-224 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: C
Ass Grade: A-
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: Although she wouldn’t touch a penis if she had a gun to her head, Meghan Goff silently made it on the legendary top 25 list. Sister of one of one the luckiest people alive, Andy Goff, who currently dates Brandi Engel, this quiet but beautiful young woman peaks when the time is right. Often she’ll dress up and her voluptuous butt sticks out and her gorgeous smile erupts with beauty.
19. Aly Perrone-179 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: B
Ass Grade: B
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: In her early years she was looked upon as a normal hot girl, then, after a year of hanging out with the wrong crowd, she transformed into a smoky ash tray. Despite these differences, she somehow maintained her dazzling beauty. Aly’s nicely formed and structure boobs also seemed to increase in size and in overall niceness after being labeled with the nickname “arm-tit” in her middle school career. If Aly straightens out her act and shapes up, we could see a big jump into the top 10 in next year’s voting.
20. Kaska Komosinkski-178 points
Grade: Sophomore
Titty Grade: C
Ass Grade: B-
Face Grade: A-
Reason on Top 25: Freshman year Kaska could have been labeled as the number one hot girl coming out of the class of 2008, but after much inside information was revealed, Kaska’s tits were described as “floppy,” “kick balls in a garbage bag,” and “big saggy bananas.” Kaska has now turned off many with her stupidity and she enjoys lighting up a square every once in a while. Putting these points to the side, Kaska managed to make the list due to the fact she has a very good looking face, and to add the invention of push up bras to make her boobs look like normal spheres. If Kaska gets the money to get a boob lift, she could make a run at the top 15 or maybe 10 next year.
21. Amber Wood-177 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: C+
Ass Grade: A-
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: Even though her pussy has been horrible contaminated with the disgustingness of Pat McStay, she has been rumored to contact STDs, and she supposedly goes to Robert Morris University, I’ll tell you what, the rant and rave of junior year was all about Wood. Were not talking about Abe’s cabin or what happens when u wake up in the morning, were talking about the sleek Amber Wood. This blazing hot blonde made it to the 21 spot with her nice round ass and hourglass figure. Despite slipping into a crowd of hippies for a while, Amber still remains lusted upon by much of the male student body.
22. Christine Briercheck-151 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: D
Ass Grade: B+
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: With the weight fluctuations in Christine, some question this girl’s health as well as her mental state. Christine also has one of the shortest tempers ever in the history of all girls. You get her on her bad day; you will have water dumped all over your head for no reason. Notwithstanding these qualities, Christine’s big fleshy bubble butt and great big white smile propel her into the number 22 position. Not many expect great things from this girl in the future due to the fact she has a habit of over drinking and passing out. This could cause us to see a few pounds being packed on further in her career.
23. Michele Reabe-144 points
Grade: Senior
Titty Grade: D
Ass Grade: A+
Face Grade: B-
Reason on Top 25: Although Michele serves as a great candidate as Mr. Ed’s look alike, she has managed to capture a spot on the top 25. When you think of Michele Reabe, there are two words that come to your mind, both of them starting with B’s. Those two words are Booty and Blowjobs. Michele’s big round swollen ass could serve as an 8th wonder of the world. While her record setting blowjobs are wanted to by all men across the Mt. Lebanon nation. Michele is expected to only to stay slim in her college career, but you never know what diseases she may contract.
24. Kelsey Jancisin-131 points
Grade: Sophomore
Titty Grade: C-
Ass Grade: A-
Face Grade: B-
Reason on Top 25: Despite in her early years when she could have passed as older brother Derek, Kelsey has blossomed into a petite, smokin’ brunette with a firm compressible rear end. The improvement shown by Kelsey over the last few years is historic and she should be noted as the comeback player of the year. Kelsey will continue to improve throughout her career and in her senior year, most pussy gurus expect her to make a run at the top 10.
25. Sara Linkosky-113 points
Grade: Junior
Titty Grade: B+
Ass Grade: A-
Face Grade: B
Reason on Top 25: With her perfect spherical lifted breast, and her moon shaped booty, Sara Linkosky has claimed the last and final spot of the top 25. Most projected Sara to crack the top 20, but considering the steps she has made towards greatness, Sara should still be swollen with pride of her performance this year. She will be a candidate to watch out for next year and if she works out her kinks, we will see a huge jump in her numbers. With the 25th position, Sara has earned the label of “Mrs. Irrelevant” in the 2006 nominations.
Honorable Mentions
Jourdan Cable
Victoria Quimpo
Jen Challburg
Emily Difenderfer
Stephanie Drahuscheck
Amanda Till
Next Year’s Threats
Alexa Challburg
Meah Barson
Amy Wintner
Jen Challburg
Katie Hrebinko
Kristen Campbell
Kelsey Jancisin
Darrian Tissenbaum
Maria Quimpo
Liz Valli
Sara Linkosky
Abby Poplowski
Weirdest Write Ins
Catherine Gimbrone- Socrates Zacharias
Sara Giotto- Ryan Cooney
Elyse Suprano-Nick Harbert, Brandon Dornish
Danielle Belowski-Kyle Wishart